Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated (to misquote Samuel Clemmons). That’s twice in just a few weeks. Would you go out and see if buzzards are circling my house? I’m a little worried.

You may have noticed Leslie Brewer’s photo with my article last time? A friend asked me, “Does this mean that you are dead and Leslie is writing your article now?” My response, “I mean, how does one know for sure?”

In a different weird turn of events, my son called the power company to report a power outage on our farm in Lawsonville. He was asked, “are you taking over payment of this bill now that the owner is dead?” “Ummmm, no, I just talked to her, I’m pretty sure she is fine”. “That’s not what our records show, she is dead”. “I’ll have her call you”.

So, I thought this would be a good time to write about how you can figure out if you are dead or not. For those who are sure they are indeed living, perhaps this will be a good list of the items you can carry to someone’s house when a death has occured.

For those wondering, usually when you are dead, a parade of people show up at your home. Family members you haven’t seen in years arrive with hugs and sad faces. Funny stories about you and your friends and family are told around the room. Tears are shed. Besides that, LOTS of delicious food arrives at the back door wrapped in foil, cooked in foil pans and in casserole dishes with masking tape labeled with someone’s last name. Other things arrive with hushed voices too. Here’s some examples (and you might want to tape this part of this article to the inside of a kitchen cabinet door to help you think through what to take the next time you are facing this situation).

Items to help around the house: toilet paper, facial tissues, paper plates, trash bags, paper napkins, paper towels, aluminum foil, freezer safe zip lock bags in different sizes, carry out containers, plastic wrap and these days a box of masks, gloves and alcohol hand gel.

An offer to help with some household chores: Take the trash to the dump, clean the bathrooms, wash the kitchen and bathroom hand towels, mop the kitchen floor, straighten up the guest bedroom and change the sheets, wash the blankets that hang on the back of the couch in the living room. Station tissues and trash cans around the house. Offer to take the dogs for a walk or to take them to your house for a few days. Clean the cat box and set the cat up in an unused bedroom where he can be safe and kept away from open doors and strangers. Help with farm chores if needed.

Things that may need done at the house before all the visitors arrive: Back porch and back steps swept off, a load of gravel in the main parking spots, some chairs brought over for sitting outside, a few picnic tables dropped off for visitors to sit, eat and visit. A couple of big trash cans outside for the paper plate trash. Extra coolers with ice for drinks or for casserole storage.

Food Items you might bring: country ham biscuits, rolls, sausage balls, cookies, casseroles of all types, canned drinks or 2L drinks, veggie tray, fruit tray, frozen meals for the family freezer, pies or cakes, a box of fried chicken with fixings and gallons of tea and lemonade, a honey baked ham, macaroni and cheese and finger foods. Basically any food that qualifies as a comfort food will work. Foods that can be frozen and consumed later are also helpful to the family so that meals over the next few weeks won’t be a problem when the shock starts to leave and the grief sets in.

Since no one has arrived with food at my house and I haven’t heard any endearing stories about the exploits of my youth. No one has come to help with cleaning or to bring any extra supplies, I’m going to guess that I’m still among the living. Of course, perhaps I’m just unpopular, there’s always that. So…

This Buffalo Chicken Tater Tot Casserole fits the bill when needed. Its comfort food at its finest.

1 lb chicken cooked. Use a whole rotisserie chicken or cook your own boneless, skinless breasts or thighs. Remove the skin and shred or chop.

8 oz cream cheese room temp.

1/2 Cup Hot Sauce Prefer Franks Hot Buffalo Chicken Sauce

1 packet Ranch Seasoning Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing or Dip packet

5 slices bacon fried crispy and crumbled or chopped.

Prepare a 9×9 or 10” cast iron skillet with non stick spray. (You can also use a 9×11 or 9×13 baking dish like I did).

Mix all of the ingredients except the tater tots, bacon, butter and green onion together in a medium sized bowl and pour into the prepared baking dish.

Top with a layer of crumbled bacon.

Arrange the tater tots to cover the casserole in a single layer. You can lay them in there like soldiers or you can just pour in and spread out, your choice. Don’t go over a single layer. Depending on the size of your casserole dish, you may have tater tots left over.

Brush the tater tots with the melted butter. If you have any left over after painting the top, just drizzle it over the top. (as an alternative, you can spray the top of the tater tots with vegetable oil cooking spray)

Bake at 375 for 25-35 minutes. Everything is already cooked so this is just to warm the whole thing. When you remove from the oven, sprinkle the green onions over the top and serve. Goes great with Hawaiian rolls

CEO, Food Writer, Recipe Developer and Dish Washer at Loaves and Dishes.

One of the Dorks with Sporks Duo, a Mother-Daughter Adventure in Take-Out Podcast. Find us on our website at Dorks with Sporks or WHEREVER you listen to podcasts.

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